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#Selfcare Sunday Series | Navigating Friendships and Deciphering Toxic Negativity

Happy Sunday! Amidst everything crazy that is happening right now, I hope you are all keeping well and being kind to each other. I also need to keep my mind off it too so I’ll be attempting to write more.

Firstly, I’d like to say Thank You to everyone who commented on my post about Getting Over My Anxiety for Driving. It was a topic that I desperately needed to write, even if no one was going to read it (clearly I don’t trust page views). But reading some of your comments to confirm the similar struggles that you had, particularly for driving, was really heartfelt and helped open up a whole new avenue that I didn’t know existed. I no longer felt as stupid and actually, I would like to promote this sort of topical confession/discussion more in the future. #PositiveMentalHealth #Positivity 🙂

I’ve been keeping up with driving so much so that I’ve enjoyed it in the past few weeks. I’m hoping to tackle dual carriageways soon but only once the weather calms down.

Anyways. Enough random talk.

Today, I want to talk about friendship. Side note, I’ll be using some real examples but in no way do I hate anyone. Hating someone takes up a lot of energy and time which I do not have…I’ve got better things to do! Other side note, I’ll be using the term ‘friendship’ a lot, but this can be interchanged with relationship even if just platonic.

Some friendships have an expiry date…and that’s fine

I’m sure we have all dipped into a handful of friendships that just fizzled out. Some common reasons may be moving schools, moving away to university, moving away for a job or just life in general when it happens. Fortunately, social media has made it easy to locate past friends and get in touch with those we’ve lost connections with.

I’ll be the first to say that I’m bad at keeping in touch with friends. There’ll be friends that I’m good at keeping in touch with because they’re my best friends and the people that I can confide in. But I’ve also dabbled into my fair share of friendships where if not for school, dare I say it…I would only momentarily keep in touch with them. It was also the same in return but I’m not here to keep score or to get even.

I later learnt that if it takes too much effort to keep in touch with said friend, they are maybe not the friend for you. It sounds cruel but for me, this was a huge learning curve which I only found out later in life. The reason that I was not as present in some of those friendships was because they were not the friends that I could confide in with my problems. As much as I have a social media outlet now and a blog, I am actually a very private person. (Selective privacy?) I’m also not a great fan of small talk.

There were lots of things that I kept to myself and I never felt like I could share it with certain people which meant that the friendship ultimately plateaued. Perhaps this frustrated them (although this was never talked about). This meant that the friends would share their problems and teenage dilemmas with each other except with me. Sure, I felt a little excluded but I also knew this was in part my fault. Teenage friendships are a hard thing to locate and make sense of so well done if you’ve gone through it.

We’re all in different places now and I’m no longer part of that friendship circle due to life happening (and lack of contact), however I always wish people well. And this is the thing we have to grasp hold of when we become an adult…sometimes good things come to an end, and other times, good things outlast anything we could ever expect.

Friendship Circles change…and that’s fine

I’m going to use school as a perfect example of friendship circles and how they can either really work out or be a little trivial because of the environment and the need to be part of some sort of friendship group. It’s the first day of school and naturally you make friends with one, with another…and somehow form a group. Once you’re in that friendship group, it feels weird to opt out and be the black sheep.

In high school, I never felt like I was part of a friendship group. I always felt a little lost and was floating in and out of the groups. I did have a best friend though who I spent the majority of my time with…and actually, we’re still good friends to this day! Don’t get me wrong – I had other friends too but none that I felt I connected with on a deeper level and who I could confide in outside of the school environment.

After high school, things got better. I made new friends whom, although I’ve lost connection with now [see first section], at that time as a confused teen, I found comfort in. For one, they were people who wanted to be in the school environment and therefore not idiots wasting others’ time. (That was a really important factor at the time and still somewhat is.)

Some people are lucky and have the same friendship circle for years since high school or college but don’t let that put you off if it isn’t the case for you! My own friendship circle has shuffled a few times. I actually didn’t find most of my friends for life until my late teens and early 20s. One of my best friends once told me that you may have a few hundred friends on Facebook, but the real ones are those who you can count on your fingers! 🙂

Deciphering Toxic Negativity…was that a passive-aggressive comment?

I wouldn’t say I’ve ever had a toxic friendship or relationship but I’ve definitely been in friendships where looking back, it wasn’t of mutual benefit. On the surface, certain situations heed outcomes that are black and white, wrong and right but when it really comes down to it, everyone’s morals are different. That’s when you may have to be a bit more strict with yourself – is the ‘friendship’ benefiting anyone?

I think sometimes, we forget about our own personal mental health just to satisfy another person. We’re all different and sometimes we should just embrace the individuality and decide it’s better to go separate ways than to force a friendship that could become unfulfilling and messy.

With one particular friend, I felt that we could never get to that deeper level of friendship because we were so different and especially since I was so quiet back then, her voice overshadowed mine. She was a lot more self-centred whereas I was complete opposite. She would comment on things that I wouldn’t necessarily agree with, but most of all, it didn’t align with my values as a person which were hugely important to me. Once I had fast-forwarded a few years and had grown up a little, I realised (and learnt), I didn’t lean on her friendship. I just didn’t need it and that without it, it was a relief. Point being? Don’t ever feel that you have to stay in a friendship. It doesn’t have to be a breakup either but just know that ongoing friendships for the sake of it is not healthy for anyone.

Friendships that are worth keeping is (slightly) different for everyone

If there is one thing that I’ve really learnt, it’s that just because someone is not your good friend, or a good friend to you, it doesn’t necessarily make them a bad person. There is always someone for everybody but not everybody is for someone – let that sink in.

There are a few things I really believe in. One, being timing for certain events to happen in your life whether by divine nature or spontaneous life choice. Two, that there are people meant for you and not meant for you.

One particular factor that’s prominent in all my good friends is that we’re very anti-drama and incredibly chill. I’ve never been one to be involved in drama or be part of a clique. I just don’t do it; and chances are, I wouldn’t be friends with those who regularly get themselves in that type of situation. To me, that is really toxic and time-consuming. Of course, I know in the ideal world, no one actively chooses to be in that environment but unfortunately, there are some people who can’t hold off saying bad things which can trigger bad emotions and reactions. Fire with fire.

I’ve never been one to be part of large girl groups simply because I find it overwhelming. I know how nasty girls can be so I tend to be most content with smaller groups. This isn’t ‘the rule’ but I think it’s important to note that what makes you comfortable will keep a friendship running smoother.

What are your own experiences with friendships, good or bad, that you have learnt from?


Big apologies for the lack of posts in the last month. I had problems with my laptop where the keyboard was not working at all so I had to get it into Apple Support. All fixed now! I’m behind on blogging but I’m hoping to use all of today to catch up and plan.

Tune into NEW posts every Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays with me.

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How I Edit My Photos

Living in the UK means that we don’t get a great deal of sunlight except in the summer but even that is difficult as our seasons have blurred drastically in the last couple of months. Today I’ll be showing you how I edit my photos – and yes, this includes those already featured on my blog!

Whilst every photo has its own characteristics dependent on things like lighting and shutter speed, I generally use the same steps for every photo that I edit.

There are however, some rules I abide by first before editing anything.

My first rule of thumb is to make sure that the base of the photo is good enough to edit. This includes good lighting (or at the very least, average lighting), a considered composition and a decent quality all-around. If all these boxes are ticked, it will make the editing process a lot easier and more successful. To give you a bit of guidance, I never take photos in artificial (bedroom) lighting because I know from experience, editing will never make the photo(s) look good.

My other rule of thumb is to have a design eye. Whilst I have told you above that I generally use the same steps to edit every photo, there are some steps that I simply skip if it doesn’t add anything to the photo quality. There are some photos that require little-to-no editing whilst others require more so it’s up to you to make that decision and decide what looks good.

Remember – you can always play and preview before anything becomes final!

Let’s get started shall we?

What I use to take photos: iPhone 7 (since June 2018)

Editing software I use: Adobe Photoshop CS6

But you can also use: Other versions of Photoshop (most recent is Adobe Photoshop CC), Adobe Lightroom or Affinity Photo which is a much cheaper option. There are also some great mobile apps out there for editing photos!

Open the Image

Get your image ready in Photoshop by going to File>Open

Auto Functions

There are 3 different automatic functions within Photoshop. These functions don’t change the photo hugely but can help to set the overall tone of your image.

You can use one or two of the following:

Image>Auto Tone
Image>Auto Contrast
Image>Auto Color

TIP: Some photos don’t benefit from either of the functions so it’s important to play. If it’s not working because it’s giving the photo a strange yellow or blue tint (which tends to be the reason why it sometimes doesn’t work), click un-do (Edit>Undo) and move to next step.

Brightness & Contrast

An obvious step but it’s so easy to get too invested with upping the brightness and contrast without consideration for whether it looks good or whether it looks over-edited.

This is where your eye for design really has to come in. It’s sometimes good to click on auto however it doesn’t always work well so it’s best to adjust the toggles instead. I generally set the brightness anywhere from 0-24, and the contrast anywhere from 0-14.

Go to Image>Brightness & Contrast

TIP: If your image was taken in really good lighting, chances are, you require little-to-no adjustment on the brightness & contrast toggles. Over-editing will only ruin an image, not enhance it.

Levels

Admittedly, it takes some practice to understand the difference between each of these functions as they can appear to be so similar but are actually very different.

The Levels function works by adjusting and stretching the brightness levels of the image. As such, you are also adjusting the tone and contrast of the image.

Go to Image>Levels (I usually toggle the right arrow to 244 whenever I use this function.)

TIP: If you’re looking for some inspiration, you can always play around with the presets.

Curves

Curves is a very good all-round function that deals with the colour, tone, shadows and highlights of your image. More specifically, you are able to adjust the curve at different points in order to deal with the different tones of your image (for example, your mid-tones).

Go to Image>Curves

If you want to edit your photos in the least steps possible, I would recommend this function alone!

Shadows/Highlights

This is my favourite function for photos that are dark! It helps to truly brighten up the image by removing/lessening the shadows.

Go to Image>Shadows/Highlights (I have mine at 35 which seems to work for a lot of photos that I have edited but feel free to play around.)

Assess your Before & After

This is pretty self-explanatory. If your After is not looking better than your Before, you may perhaps want to start again? It’s therefore important to keep your base photo in this case until you’re 100% happy to save over it.

Don’t forget to save

Photoshop used to crash a lot on me back when I was using the CS3 version on my Windows PC so you can imagine my frustration whenever I lost the work that I spent a great deal of time doing.

Nowadays, it never crashes but it’s always important to save changes. Go to File>Save. You can either save over your image which is what I normally do or rename the image so that you have a before and after.


I hope this tutorial was helpful! I recently updated my Macbook to the new Catalina update which has meant Photoshop no longer works for me. I have since downloaded and purchased a new app called Affinity Photo and so far it seems to work just as well (keeping in mind that I have no used Photoshop to its full potential before).

I’d be happy to write more tutorials in the future if you enjoyed this one? Let me know.

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Review: L’Oréal Infallible 24hr Foundation

I’m so happy to be back at reviewing some products! I realise that they’re few and far between but I do love writing a good, detailed review. It’s just not often that I have enough to say about a given product and you should know that I want to give a quality review as much as I want to be interested in the product I’m reviewing whether for a good reason or a bad reason.

Today, I’ll be reviewing the L’Oréal Infallible 24hr Foundation.

I bought this foundation completely on a whim with no prior knowledge to it. I seldom watch beauty YouTube anymore so I have no idea, no recollection, of whether this foundation has been hyped about or not. I have also not read a review to do with this product so this may be the most unbiased review you’ll have seen me write.

Let’s begin shall we?

FYI – I have combination/oily skin with the tendency to suffer from dehydration.

I purchased the foundation in shade 120 Vanilla.

What is it?

It’s a light-weight, fresh-feel foundation that claims to last up to 24 hours. It sets itself apart from other foundations (at least from its description) by not compromising on coverage despite it’s light-weight feel.

There are some big, bold statements made which I’m interested to explore:

Transfer-proof, life-proof, party-proof and waterproof

Taken from L’Oréal Paris’ main website

The foundation is available in 26 shades which is incredible for a drugstore product since some affordable lines barely have 10 shades.

How much does it cost?

The higher end of drugstore pricing, retailing at £10.99 although this seems to be the standard pricing for most drugstore foundations nowadays!

Where from?

It’s L’Oréal so it’s readily available in most stores and supermarkets. I bought mine from Boots.

Who is it for?

I suspect that it’s for people like me who hate heavy-feeling foundations but would still like the coverage.

What made you buy it?

Nothing. I bought the foundation on-a-whim with no particular knowledge of it. I know of the name but that’s it. I will say however that with a name like Infallible, it does want to make you test it out, doesn’t it?

Can you talk me through the ingredients?

AQUA / WATER, DIMETHICONE, ISODODECANE, ALCOHOL DENAT., ETHYLHEXYL METHOXYCINNAMATE, TRIMETHYLSILOXYSILICATE, BUTYLENE GLYCOL, PEG-10 DIMETHICONE, TITANIUM DIOXIDE [NANO] / TITANIUM DIOXIDE, TITANIUM DIOXIDE, PERLITE, SYNTHETIC FLUORPHLOGOPITE, NYLON-12, ISOPROPYL LAUROYL SARCOSINATE, DIISOPROPYL SEBACATE, DISTEARDIMONIUM HECTORITE, HDI/TRIMETHYLOL HEXYLLACTONE CROSSPOLYMER, BIS-PEG/PPG-14/14 DIMETHICONE, MAGNESIUM SULFATE, ALUMINUM HYDROXIDE, PHENOXYETHANOL, DISODIUM STEAROYL GLUTAMATE, HYDROGEN DIMETHICONE, DIPENTAERYTHRITYL TETRAHYDROXYSTEARATE/TETRAISOSTEARATE, PARFUM / FRAGRANCE, SILICA SILYLATE, ACRYLONITRILE/METHYL METHACRYLATE/VINYLIDENE CHLORIDE COPOLYMER, TOCOPHEROL, HEXYLCINNAMAL, SILICA, ISOBUTANE, BENZYL SALICYLATE, LINALOOL, ALPHA-ISOMETHYL IONONE, BENZYLALCOHOL, BHT, CITRONELLOL, [+/- MAY CONTAIN: CI 77891 / TITANIUM DIOXIDE, CI 77491, CI 77492, CI 77499 / IRON OXIDES, CI 77510 / FERRICAMMONIUM FERROCYANIDE]. ( F. I . L .B215676/5)

Taken from Superdrug.com
  • The product contains silicone ingredients which some of you may not be a fan of.
  • Fragrance is listed quite high up. If you are especially sensitive to this, then avoid. Read more below on my overall thoughts.

What do you have to say about it?

Given its name, this foundation is already promising a lot.

I was really interested in what else was out there on the drugstore market in terms of foundation. Obviously there’s plenty but I’m picky and the Bourjois Healthy Mix Serum Foundation is very much the only drugstore foundation pick at this moment (although I do have a few on the wish list that I’d like to try out). I tend to be more pro-luxury when it comes to foundation as I’m more of an oily person and just need the correct formula to last me through the day.

When I had first trialled the Infallible foundation, my first impression was that it was very pretty on the skin even around the nose. Some foundations seem to emphasise some sort of texture or dryness, especially on the sides of this particular area, but it looked great. The times after that, it didn’t look as amazing but still better than how a lot of foundations normally sit around my nose so I was happy with this.

I normally use about 1 and a half pumps per application which is quite standard for me. I would go in with one pump first which is just about enough to cover my face. The half pump afterwards is generally used for areas where I want a little bit more coverage – for me, this is the cheek area as I get mild redness and blotchiness which I like to mask. This foundation is definitely effective for that and has been my foundation of choice for a couple of weekends now.

One of my favourite features of the packaging is actually the pump and the way the lid clicks on.

The foundation is quite a thin consistency although not quite water-weight; I would say it’s slightly thicker than that. But because of this consistency, it means that the texture doesn’t lend itself well to being applied with a brush. I have tried different brushes in applying this foundation – buffing, stippling, full-coverage…each one leaves brush marks on the skin. This of course, can be saved by going in with a beauty blender to press the foundation in afterwards but ultimately, it’s a bit of an inconvenience especially if you’re in a rush. If you’re going to use this foundation, I would recommend to only use a beauty blender – it will automatically give the smoothest finish compared to the other methods of application.

Now when this foundation is applied over spots, it’s not my favourite. It doesn’t exactly cover any spots so most likely, you’ll need to go in with a concealer. This isn’t a huge issue for me as any spots I get are few and far between. However for those with blemished, problem skin – I don’t think this is the foundation for you or one I’d recommend to you. If you happen to have a lot of texture, the foundation isn’t thick enough to really glide over it nicely if you know what I mean – you can still see where the spots are. Personally, I’m not the type of person to use concealer for spots so I love a foundation that can meet me in the middle and take care of that job too.

By all means, if you have good skin then this is a foundation worth checking out in my opinion. It gives a light to medium coverage which I prefer. It certainly doesn’t feel heavy on the skin. It leaves a natural dewy finish which I really like even as a combination/oily person. I have actually taken a couple of photos with this foundation on and it’s really photogenic! I have never experienced flashback issues but I just notice how well the colour matches my skin and how perky my skin looks.

In terms of longevity, I do get a bit shiny after a couple of hours but nothing horrific. I’ll normally just have to powder once and I’m good for the rest of the day. Honestly, I get lazy to powder my face around lunchtime but even then, I find that my whole look holds itself well – no weird disintegration.

Any powder products that goes on top (bronzer, contour, blush or just powder in general) is fine. I also find that the foundation sets nicely with and without powder. Some foundations can leave your skin feeling sticky but when I lightly press my skin, it feels…skin-like, which I know sounds so stupid but in theory, not all foundations adhere this sort of result.

The one area where I can see this foundation being a problem is the scent. I’ve gotten used to it now so I don’t notice it as much until I go days without using the foundation again. The scent comes off strong – very perfumed. It lingers for a bit but does eventually go. Personally, it hasn’t affected my experience but for others, this could be the deal-breaker so just be wary of this especially if you are sensitive to smell!

Overall, whilst this isn’t my favourite foundation, it has become a bit of my go-to regardless of me reviewing this. I do actually enjoy using the foundation and can see it fitting a lot of skin types. It’s a healthy option (pun intended) as an everyday foundation. For nights out, special occasions and specifically long-wearing, full-coverage foundation-lovers, I’d probably keep searching!

Overall Loving: A solid 7/10

When I first used this foundation, I enjoyed the finish so much that I had thought it to be a hot contender alongside my trustworthy Bourjois Healthy Mix Serum Foundation. I no longer think this is the case however, I do still think it’s a great foundation to have in my collection. Is it versatile enough though? Probably not if you have blemished, problem skin or lots of texture; but if you have relatively good skin, it looks great! Just be sure to finish it off with a beauty blender even if you do use a brush to apply.


Huge apologies for a rather uneventful February! I had ideas for February but the drafting never followed through due to having to take my Macbook in for repair (the keyboard and trackpad died). That really overthrew my blogging game and on top of that, I had lots of work deadlines which I needed to prioritise. I’m looking forward to a more productive March for blogging though. Did I miss anything? Let me know.

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#Selfcare Sunday Series | Getting Over my Anxiety for Driving

Disclaimer: This post purely writes of my own personal experience. It does not define anxiety and its entirety because everyone’s experience is just that: personal. Whilst I don’t think my content would be triggering for anyone, I still feel obliged to add a trigger warning in case you suffer (or have suffered) from a severe form of anxiety. Lastly, you all normally are anyway, but please be respectful in the comments box. Thanks!

Note: This post is lengthy. If interested, I hope you have a hot beverage accompanying you!

If there is one thing that I have really learnt in the past year, it is mindset. This time last year, I was a bit of a wreck (for reasons that actually have nothing to do with the main topic of this post). This time round, I’m in a really positive place actually and it’s been a very productive January despite everyone seemingly using the term ‘Dry January’.

Sometimes, it can take as much as waking up and feeling different about the world around you. In some cases, it could be feeling lethargic, a real lack of motivation and lack of direction. Other times you could wake up as a bright spark, suddenly seeing the world differently and wanting to change because you know inside that you deeply need the change. This is how I started feeling in the last quarter of 2019. It’s still manifesting in itself now which is probably why I see 2020 in such a positive light. Like I said, mindset.

I started driving more. You can say it was more down to circumstance forcing me to do so but I’m thankful for it because I’ve taken a giant leap for something that I later realised I had anxiety for. Anxiety can be characterised by a few different meanings and for me it was thinking or expecting something bad would happen before doing the task (i.e. driving).

I passed my driving test almost 5 years ago. But once I passed, I rarely drove (me and my mum car-share). Rarely then became never. This reluctancy to drive was partly because I don’t necessarily enjoy driving. I would box myself in this mindset and then if there was the odd time that I’d drive, I would set my mind into overdrive – just overthinking about driving even though deep down, I know how to drive. If anything, I needed to relax and let the driving come naturally but being this uptight caused me to either be overly cautious as a driver or just bit risqué by rushing.

It’s perhaps noteworthy to say that I passed my driving test first time round with 8 minors. Sounds good on paper right? To this day, I still don’t know how I achieved that because the journey of learning to drive was long. I took a LOT of lessons and changed instructors a few times although super thankful for the last instructor who ultimately propelled me to be the good driver that I am (sometimes). This point is important to note though because what sounds good on paper, might not be someone’s full story. That is exactly what mental health looks like hence why it’s necessary to check in with yourself and with people you truly care about.

My first instructor wasn’t very productive and didn’t challenge me enough. I felt like he only took me around the block and actually, now that I think back, he only took me around my local area and some country lanes – not the driving routes that I should be familiar with prior to a possible driving test. I went back to university that year so driving was put on a standstill and therefore less of a priority.

Once I graduated, I took up driving again but with a different instructor (and driving centre). Out of the 3 instructors I had, he was the worst when I look back. I remember on two occasions, I came home crying because he was so patronising and made me feel awful and uncomfortable as a driver. For example, naturally, you would stall as a learner-driver. A good tutor would work with you to fix those problems – not scold you unnecessarily. I remember in one lesson, I stalled a lot (sometimes mistakes comes in threes) and he got annoyed with the tone of ‘why are you still stalling?‘. On another occasion, I remember I asked a question about the flashing amber lights and what they meant. He told me what it was but when I had made a mistake later on in the lesson, he had a problem with the fact that I didn’t know what a pelican crossing was and therefore devalued me as a driver! This in turn made me feel horrible so I made the solid decision to change instructors because the relationship just wasn’t working and quite frankly, he didn’t deserve my money.

My last instructor was great. He always encouraged me and helped me work through the difficulties that I was experiencing even if it was as much as preventing the small, easy mistakes. I felt like he gave me challenges that were realistic and he was never patronising – just blunt, honesty that I really valued. On one occasion however – I for whatever reason, when instructed to turn right, did not look for any ongoing cars and therefore swerved blindly with an ongoing white van coming towards me. My instructor had to heavily brake before I fully turned. This whole experience probably traumatised me the most and after some self-analysis, is likely the reason for why driving gives me anxiety. Everything happened so quickly lending the car into a heavy jolt before stalling. It shook me. Everything changed.

During these lessons, I was already showing signs of being too cautious as a driver. “It’s like you’re waiting for something bad to happen“, said my third instructor. I didn’t quite realise I was that transparent but here we are. He was right.

I had started a new job last year early Spring. Due to taking up a new project that was happening every Friday and finishing late, I needed the car so that I could get home instead of walking 30 minutes. Circumstance forcing me to drive. Suddenly, I felt this surge of energy because I had a real reason to drive. A need for it so I started slowly by practicing a month before the project would take place.

At first, I was rusty but having my mum beside me helped to calm my mind. I changed gears a bit slow however I was aware of this. I was also cautious of whoever was behind me, causing me to try and rush but my mum would remind me to not focus on who’s behind me – rather what’s in front. As the weeks went on, I got better and eventually driving on my own was something to get used to in itself. I won’t lie – I had lots of nerves especially in my legs when getting back into driving. But over time, it got better and I got more comfortable.

I became more open about driving so much so as tweeting what I termed my ‘driving stories’. For every little success, I would celebrate it. If I noticed that I got a bit nervous, I turned the music up so that I could get into rhythm and even sing in the car (I don’t know why but this method helps me a lot as a distraction from my thoughts).

A few of my best friends know that I have actively avoided driving for as long as possible but in getting back into it slowly, they have been encouraging and patient with me without fully knowing what’s up. I did however tell one of them that I do have anxiety for driving, and it helped so much when she said that driving, especially on your own – is scary because she let me know that I wasn’t the only one finding it a bit terrifying. She reassured me that my anxiety wasn’t stupid so I stopped feeling guilt for feeling this way and continued to work through it.

Coming into the new year, I have actually stalled a lot in the past two weeks. Some nerves came back and I remember apologising to my friend sat beside me because stalling after you have long passed your test can still feel embarrassing. He laughed and said it was fine (he also knows of my lack of confidence in driving). As I said earlier in this post, mistakes sometimes comes in threes and I remember stalling 3 times in a row last week with him beside me. I was so embarrassed!

I’ve worked through the problem however and have identified that I had been lazy with my legs by not gassing the pedal enough hence the repetitive stalling. Sometimes results can seem annoyingly regressive and therefore discouraging (I felt so shit after that) but it was super important for me to learn from it. I had gone back to my former habit of boxing my thoughts and overthinking about driving in that moment therefore fearing the worst, doing the worst and rushing unnecessarily. The next time I drove after that, I took it slow and it came back to me on why I was stalling: the gas pedal, I needed to gas!

I’m still working on my driving now and I want to get great at it so I can go places. Literally. I have driven well before but my aim is to drive well every time. I have identified what driving is: reacting to what’s in front of you. Yes, driving is still daunting but I’m learning everyday to be better. Admittedly, some days I’m more comfortable with it than other days but I think I’ve come up with a few methods to combat how I might be on that day. Thanks for listening.

In summary of this post and with handling anxiety:

  • You’re never alone in what you feel. You’ll be surprised by how many people actually feel the same way as you do.
  • Sharing is caring. You can confide in a friend you fully trust. If this is too difficult, find a way to openly talk about it even if it’s just two sentences in a journal.
  • Don’t rush. Never rush.
  • Work through your problems slowly. Try and think clearly to identify and solve the problem.
  • One thing I haven’t mentioned yet is there is timing for everything. People can’t change overnight and taking the leap to change is in actual fact, a long journey. But once you find that motivation, you’ll know when it’s appropriate to face your fears.

This post was meant to go up last Sunday but since it was the weekend of Chinese New Year, I felt like it was too heavy a topic to put out. It’s difficult to write such a topic because you do end up drawing emotions that you may have moved on from. You can heal but emotions is such a strong thing to feel – it’s like that saying: you can forget what someone says but you’ll never forget how they made you feel. Take care of yourselves and put yourselves first – it is not selfish to do this.

Feel free to let me know of your experiences but please don’t feel like you need to!

SIDE NOTE: I’ve been experiencing some issues with my MacBook where the keyboard is not working as if it’s disconnected. I’m currently typing on an external keyboard (!!) but basically, don’t expect any posts in the upcoming week. Really sorry. I’m going to draft what I can before it goes into repair though.

Tune into NEW posts every Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays with me.

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My Current Hair Styling & Treatment Routine

We’re moving into a slightly different topic today which is something I never talk about: hair. The reason being is that I’m very low maintenance when it comes to my hair. Give me a hairdryer and I’m good to go. I don’t use heat spray nor do I straighten or curl my hair. (For the record, my hair is already very straight.)

However, having gone for the chop just over 2 months ago, I have found the joy in styling my hair now and again. Here’s my (very) easy hair styling routine for those higher-than-low maintenance days where you fancy something a little bit extra!

If you follow me on Instagram, then you may recall me attending my best friend’s wedding as bridesmaid. In the lead up to that, I couldn’t cut my hair even though I really wanted to so my method in keeping my hair as healthy as possible was in using a hair mask. Normally, you would just use this once a week but for me, I upped this to twice a week for about 2 months and it made all the difference. I totally recommend the Garnier Ultimate Blends Hair Masks. I have purchased both the banana and coconut ones – I personally don’t see a huge difference between the two – just different scents if anything.

It’s important to note that I don’t use hair conditioners ever – only shampoo. I find that conditioners just coat my hair due to the silicons which makes it look unnecessarily smooth (my hair is already really sleek without sounding pretentious) therefore weighing it down and causing my hair to get oilier quicker. The hair masks on the other hand are 95% natural, and do not cause any of these problems. Instead, they help repair damage and restore some life back into your hair. I definitely recommend these!

About a year ago, I wrote about dry shampoo and how it had damaged my scalp and triggered some inflammation.

[See: Why + How Dry Shampoo Could Be Damaging Your Hair (and Scalp)]

You’ll be surprised to know that I’m back to using dry shampoo again, though very careful in not overdoing it. My second day hair is much less oilier than in my teens and early 20s however there are days where it can look a bit flat. Using dry shampoo helps to add volume which is the main reason for why I’m back to using it! My top picks at the moment are the Batiste Dry Shampoo in Original and the Toni and Guy Matte Texture Dry Shampoo.

I bought the former in the largest size you can get and boy, does it make a difference! The extra power in the nozzle really helps to add volume but also distribute the product more evenly than in the smaller spray cans which I find, leave more of a powdery residue. The latter adds less volume but I like the subtlety of it – it doesn’t feel like I’m using dry shampoo at all! There is no white cast whatsoever and easy to work with if you’re just looking to make your hair look less oily.

The last product to mention is a hairspray. Traditionally, I don’t use hairspray because they can also add that extra weight that leaves my hair greasy after half a day. Not to mention, the crispiness is never nice. The L’Oreal Elnett Hairspray in Normal Hold does neither of these things! I have a lot of baby hairs that like to stick up and finding this hairspray has been such a God-save. My second day hair tends to be more forgivable in this regard whereas my first day hair can look much less put-together. A few spritz of this means my sleek hair doesn’t have to be ruined by the weird ‘frizz bits’ unsolved by brushing. I highly recommend this if you’re looking for hairspray without weight or tackiness! In fact, I know that a lot of industry professionals use this which is always good to know.

How do you style and/or treat your hair? Do you have a set routine and what is your hair like in the first place?


I apologise for the lack of pictures lately – the lighting has been very unpleasantly kind with barely any sun even in the late mornings when you expect it. By the time there is a good amount of sunlight, I happen to be in work! I am looking to work backwards though and update with some photos in the near future when sunlight does make an appearance!

In the meantime, let me know how you style your hair. Are you low maintenance like me or do you like to do something a little more? Let me know!

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