Note: You’ll figure out through reading this (if you’re an avid reader) that this is in the context of a few weeks ago. I’m posting it late anyways so enjoy.
I finished season 1 of Netflix series You last night – have you watched it yet? All of my friends and colleagues have and wow, that was some next level of intense along with a couple of swear words here and there for expression.
Anyways, I’ve been in a writing mood lately. Note that I said writing and not blogging. You might see some more written pieces in the next few posts…let’s say that I’m taking advantage of these moments in my life to write.
I remember whilst I was still studying Fashion Design, one of the tutors was giving us a crash course lesson in draping and a tip she gave was to drape through your emotions. I think that’s what I really liked about the subject – sure it’s subjective but you could utilise your emotion to make a great thing. I firmly believe the same thing applies for writing too.
This week has been a spiral of emotions for me. If you didn’t know me, you would probably think that I am crazy cos honestly, how can one go from an almost depressed crying state to I’m-so-happy-to-the-point-that-I’m-smiling-to-myself-now state in a matter of days?
But that was my week.
Emotions are a funny thing.
I don’t want to say what I even cried about because it’s no one else’s business, although I guess you can read my last post to catch a hint. I was definitely feeling very down, defeated and dare I say it – depressed. I talked it out though with my closest of friends and my family and damn, I have the best people around me. Sometimes I even wonder how I got so lucky? Other times I wonder if I am worthy. Yes I know that’s a crazy thing to even ponder but my mind is complex (Geminis, where are you at?) and sometimes it does go to dark places.
A quick lesson I learnt from all of this though was that it’s important to believe that you are worthy and that you are enough. I kid you not but there was even a moment where I asked one of my best friends on the phone if there was something wrong with me. She must have been so flabbergasted with my question because she quickly replied “There’s nothing wrong with you!”. So thank you Leigh, for reassuring me when my mind went to a dark place. I’m just about calming down again and allowing myself to return back to planet earth which is nice for a change because a mind that feels like it’s running a million miles per hour is really no fun.
The other lesson I learnt was to simply talk about your problems with people. I admit I’m not the best at this – I tend to hide more of my problems than talk about them, particularly the minor problems because really, who needs to know? Truth is though, they end up manifesting in itself when left long enough to brew. So please talk if you’re struggling with something – even if very minor. I know I’ve learnt the hard way after twenty plus years of living – that’s for sure.
I’m learning to communicate better with people now because I’ve been told before that people can’t seem to figure out what I am thinking. Hell – even I don’t know sometimes which I guess is why writing comes in so handy.
In conclusion, my key words for the month are SELF-ANALYSIS and REASSURANCE. I really am trying to make 2019 my year so I am being kinder to myself. What about you?
In case any of you are wondering or are worried – I am doing fine and have recouped myself. January started off a bit rough but has straightened out. Now we’re into February, I am feeling positive vibes only.
With less than two weeks I am off to Hong Kong so I’ll look to make a few posts before then! No pressure although it must be said, I am putting myself first before the blog which is probably why you haven’t seen too much of me lately. I hope I haven’t missed too much?
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