Over a week ago, I made a challenge to myself in the form of resolutions in my Reset: 7 Changes I’m Making in 2017 post. So far, I’m actually doing a really decent job of it if I do say so myself. My mind has been clear and I just do some of the activities without thinking too much into it such as the result.
Mindfulness is something that I’m practicing now. I mean…can I say that? I haven’t read too much about the topic, nor do I meditate however I have put more focus in the moment. I focus more on the fruits of my life. The things that I do have rather than what I don’t have, and plant my seeds there; to improve more and learn more. To expand the branches and make them stronger; bloom. To use my existing skills to build new ones.
I breathe. I only think about the one activity that I’m doing in the moment. And it helps.
Last week, we (me and my family) had to go through one of the easiest decisions made but hardest to take: we put down our dog of 6 years due to her struggle to recover from an accident which led to her no longer being able to walk. December was a very difficult month as we witnessed her deterioration, and since the accident she just wasn’t the same again. She had lost her spark, her confidence and soon enough, her eyes were coloured sadness. It was painful to see her like this. Her smile was forced but I knew deep down she was depressed and in pain.
We knew what was coming. What we should do. That we shouldn’t be so selfish in keeping her alive just like that. And so a phone call and an appointment was made. The day came and the procedure happened just like that. It was a tough pill to swallow and although I was the one waiting at home, it all happened so so fast. I don’t even remember December all too well either. It just feels like a bad dream.
The vet assured that it was the right decision. But nothing can ever prepare you for the ‘right decision’. The aftermath of pain actually lasted a short while, before we found much relief in knowing that she wasn’t suffering anymore; that she was in a better place. And this may sound absolutely crazy but somehow, I can feel her presence as if she’s watching over us; telling us that indeed, she is in a better place. But what also follows is emptiness. The home feels emptier, quieter and it’s all too obvious.
The fruits of my life don’t always last and unfortunately have an expiry date. Sometimes the taste is ripe and sweet, or bitter and rotten. The experience always stays with you though, and it’s usually more worthwhile to have had it than not.
Image Credit: here