Writing and Creative Thinking
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I have a conscience.

My mind had not really sparked a light for wanting to write anything in particular these past few months as I was so busy prepping for an array of things. Things that do not concern writing, after all writing is my side hobby, my side job and somehow, something that I have become accustomed to quite quickly. Although, I will say there is pressure to release written material when I am no way a writing professional and needless to say, it is not everyday that I have stories to tell, feelings to spill. But should I feel bad about that?

Well, no of course not. Except here’s the deal: everyone has expectations. You have expectations for yourself, as do your parents, siblings, friends and lover. You will also have unconscious expectations of all the things around you: the food you eat, the music you listen to, the places you go. It happens.

If the feelings meet or even go as far as to surpass the expectations, you’ll feel fulfilled, joyous, exhilarated. However, if the expectations are not quite met, and even fall below the minimum point of decency, you get what we call disappointment. Although, that is not always the case, and the formula can become more seemingly complicated when it just regards humans.

I recently learned that people have expectations for how one should be feeling and it just baffled me because who’s to say how one should feel? Such example I found was actually on the internet, on YouTube to be exact. There are trolls in every comment section of YouTube, spammers, super-fans and just people. On each video, there then runs a positive consensus and a negative consensus (or it could be completely direct, but you get the idea because I’m sure you’ve used it). Big-time American rapper Eminem performs “Stan” live for BBC Radio 1 and some people were concerned that he lost his aggression, wasn’t as angry as before, the trait that propelled him into the spotlight. People expect Eminem to be angry. All the time. But that really isn’t normal if you’re still angry 15 years or so down the line. He’s released all that energy and is finally moving on, away from that negative energy. There are other emotions to feel, other paths and opportunities to take so good for him!

A close friend of mine told me this not too long ago:

You don’t want to leave others stranded

But you have to go chase your dreams

The reason it took me so long to leave my last job is because I have a conscience.

That is exactly how one moves on. You have to leave something behind to let new things into your life. Regardless of expectation because you cannot please everyone. 

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