Aside from the fact that we don’t feel good in our skin at times, we rather like to knock it into our brains an excuse to risk exposing us from the truth.
Recently, I finished reading a book on my kindle, The Rosie Project, by Graeme Simsion. The main protagonist, Don Tilman suffers from Aspergers Syndrome and as a result, lives life through schedules, lists and rules which appears to limit any freedom. However, how can there be any fun, any risk if we do not break these rules? If anything, Don Tilman is the very definition of anti-hero.
There is indeed a particular passage in the book that is so bittersweet, heartbreaking and lovely all at the same time, and one that doesn’t just summarize the book brilliantly, but is true to every one of our insecurities:
” And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find someone who might accept me”. (page 246)
My heart sank a bit when I first read it. On one hand for his Aspergers Syndrome although after a while, that is completely beside the point. If anything, we are all somewhat socially incapable when we doubt ourselves, which is probably the most ironic thing. Even I admit that on some days I feel shit about myself and moan to my friend to which she replies, “Don’t think that! You’re great, Jude!”
Yet in this same body, behind the very same face, I can feel good again. I guess what I am trying to say is confidence really is everything and when that becomes zero or less than, beauty is nothing. Yes, sometimes the boat rocks and we may even fall into the water, but we must somehow learn to swim and not drown. And if you are drowning (metaphorically speaking), you are only making an excuse for yourself that you “can’t do it”.
…but what if you can?
Why does no one ever seem to think of the opposite anyways?
Positivity, Determination ——>
In order to find someone who might accept you, you must learn to actually accept yourself first…not just in Don’s case, but EVERYONE. Whilst swimming and drowning are both actions in water, the difference is in the mindset and direction. (Please remember this is a metaphor, am sure there are really people out there like myself who can’t actually swim, haha!) So….how do YOU feel? Denial to me is a negative state of mind and not a fact that you are bad, and of the “can’t do it” type… that is an excuse that we drown in, but if we just lift our head (out the water) and look ahead, the world is so much bigger and further.
Denial gets us nowhere, guys and we are no where near as bad as we think we are.